Apparently the Akron Police Department has been asking my homeless friends where I get my money.
My friends thought it was a strange question to ask and so they let me know the police were asking.
It’s strange because it sounds a little like an investigation. I mean, who in the government asks that question unless it’s someone who is trying to uncover something?
So, considering the only other person besides myself who really knows “where I get my money from” is my wife, I thought I’d clear it all up for you. As much as I like my homeless friends, they don’t have the slightest idea where my money comes from.
First, my day job is that of a marketer. I’m an Internet Marketer. I’ve been doing that since 1999. I’m happy to send you all my tax documents if you’d like. But here is what I’ve made in the last 365 days from that business:
I then have rental properties.
That’s about $22,000 a year.
Sometimes I get some W2 money. Let’s call that about $15,000/year.
So, that’s $143,196.44, roughly.
Then my wife is an executive and makes that money. She hates when I talk about our money publicly. So I’m not going to divulge what she makes.
That’s my personal money. That’s where MY money comes from.
Now let’s talk about our Charities. The Church of the Nomadic Spirit and The Houseless Movement.
We have 3 tenants in our house that pay $300/month each. That’s a total of $900/month.
And then we have monthly donors that send us about $836/month.
So, the charities currently bring in: $20,832 annually. I then do fundraisers mostly on Facebook for certain things. Those are not regular income. But if you’d like me to get those numbers for you, I’d be happy to do that for you.
As a charity, our expenses are a water bill, electric bill, gas bill and a little property tax. We have no paid employees. I don’t take any money personally from the charities. As I said before, I have my own money.
IS THAT ENOUGH MONEY FOR YOU, ASSHOLES?
Now, let’s talk about the questions behind the question?
- “Is Sage doing illegal work?”
- “Is Sage selling drugs?”
- “Is Sage selling women?”
There have been these rumors in the homeless community for years.
A current rumor is that I’m sending women to Florida as sex slaves. The rumor is that there is a phone number on the water heater in the basement of our house of a guy in Florida who I send these women to. (The only non-Akron number on that water heater is a New York number of a guy who brings dog and cat food to homeless people with pets (he moved from NYC to Akron and that’s why he still has an out of town phone number. There is no Florida number on the water heater.))
What I hate most about all these rumors is how insulting they are to me. What kind of idiot would leave his great “cover” business as an Internet Marketer and become a VERY public face of the homeless community? If I was an actual drug dealer or sex dealer there is no way in hell that I’d be so public about my relationships with my clientele. I mean I watched Breaking Bad. I’d want to be Gus Fring who owns a bunch of chicken restaurants and runs a mastermind drug business. THAT’s the kind of drug dealer I’d want to be. Who wants to be on the street? These people talk about their drug dealers constantly. These customers can’t keep their mouths shut. And most street level drug dealers make terrible money. They really would do better working at Amazon. But they like the freedom and excitement of drug-dealer entrepreneurship. I get it. If they are happy, I’m happy for them. But it’s not for me.
I really think the pimp business died mostly with the 80s. These women are sick of giving all their money to some man that gives very limited services in return. All my sex worker friends that I know just sell direct.
Again, I find this whole idea insulting. I would have much higher aspirations than trafficking homeless women. I’d want to be one of those high end guys. Sex is going for $20 a service in my neighborhood. Who wants the hassle of that business unless they have no other options?
But I’ve never EVER done any of this. (Not that I have any problem with people who do.)
Based on my entire knowledge of illegal business that I have gotten from “The Godfather” and “The Wire” and “Peaky Blinders”, it seems to me that illegal business is something you are always trying to get out of in exchange for legitimate business. Why would I have legitimate businesses in exchange for low-level illegal businesses? Do you really take me as that kind of complete idiot?
But here is the real base of it all:
I WANT TO BE THE GOOD GUY.
I look around and see so many shitty leaders. They all seem so corrupt and just out for themselves. And their lying. They lie and lie and lie.
At the very least, I don’t want to lie to you. (I guess you’d have no way of knowing if I really am a low level drug dealer and pimp, other than the facts I’ve given above of why I wouldn’t want that life. I think it’s impossible to prove that you haven’t done something.) One of the reasons I swear so much publicly is because I swear all the time privately. I refuse to pretend to be something I’m not.
Here’s the truth:
- I haven’t had a sip of alcohol since 2003 (before then I drank enough for my entire life a dozen times over.)
- I had a DUI many years ago. I stopped drinking and driving after that (I did it A LOT before then). But I didn’t quit drinking for quite some time after that.
- This is no longer on my record. I probably paid a lawyer to get it expunged at some point. I don’t remember. But I am very willing to admit to this crime. It was very pivotal to me.
- I have tried pot maybe a dozen times in my life. I want to like it. But it just freaks me out. I haven’t tried it again in many years. I really enjoy being “on planet” these days more than being high.
- I did LSD one time in college. It was amazing. I might try hallucinogens later in my life.
- I take 40mg of citalopram (the generic of Celexa). It is a Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitor (SSRI) used to treat anxiety and depression. I’ve been on it for years and love it.
- I have never cheated on my wife.
- I make a point of no longer even so much as shaking a woman’s hand. Between the #MeToo movement and Covid I see no reason to physically touch anyone.
- I help homeless people more out of an outrage of a torturous system than as some form of kindness and love.
- I very much enjoy being with homeless people because they are so raw and real. Middle class people annoy me endlessly with their “problems.”
- I am often extremely angry due to the betrayal of my father leaving my mother and myself when I was 7. I just can’t shake it.
- But this wound has given me many useful characteristics. I’m driven and competitive and funny and responsible and disciplined. It’s all because my father left.
- I hate authority. I rage against it’s cruelty and inhumanity. Again, this is all due to my father.
- I am often very angry at God. Again, thanks dad.
- I am impulsive and rash. I can drastically change my mind in an instant. It’s terrifying to anyone who relies on my stability.
- Being a good husband and a good father is probably the most important thing in my life.
- I see your suffering constantly. The more people hate you the more attracted I am to you. Pedophiles and white supremacists are probably the people I’m most attracted to right now in my life. But women and Black people are the oppressed people I am willing to fight to the death for. I measure my worth to the world based on what John Brown would think of me. I often ask myself if John Brown would think I was doing enough to help people. People often believe that John Brown is the most consequential son of Summit County. I’d love to be the second most consequential son of Summit County.
- I totally get the desire of Achilles wanting immortality and fame. I’m not afraid to die. I’m afraid of disappearing. But at the same time, I have accepted the impermanence of my existence. I just hate it.
- I have never sold any drugs EVER.
- I have never bought any drugs EVER. Any illegal drugs I have taken (pot and LSD as mentioned above) were given to me.
- I have never sold anyone for sex EVER.
- I have never bought anyone for sex EVER.
THAT IS THE GOD’S HONEST TRUTH OF IT ALL.
I guess I could endlessly build that list. But the point of it all is to make this point: I want to be the good guy. And I’m just a guy. I’m not a god. I’m not a shaman. I’m just a guy. That’s particularly important so that you can’t easily escape my message. You can sideline a saint. But you can’t sideline an average person that has the desire of trying to be a good guy. I want you to ask, “If Sage can do all this stuff, what could I do?”
I have virtually no fantasy of making any real meaningful change in the system other than maybe making you think about your place on Earth and what you are doing with your time here. The system will do what the system does. I can’t change that. All I can do is do me.
Is that enough APD?
Next time you want to know something, don’t ask someone who has no idea about my life. Just ask me. I’ll be glad to give it you. (SOMETIMES I HATE YOU GUYS SO FUCKING MUCH. FUCK YOU, APD!)