I’m Back

A younger friend of mine from law school came up to me last night after our criminal law class and said, “I bet you were cool back in the ’80s.” (A. I was 10 in 1981. B. I’m STILL cool. What are you even talking about?) She said, I bet you went to all the rallies and always stood up for the people.

We had just finished reading the Bernhard Goetz lawsuit: People v. Goetz.

That guy was a racist asshole. And he straight up said he wanted to kill those Black guys, and he would have shot them more if he hadn’t run out of bullets.

He was reacting to the fact that he had been mugged before, and crime was rampant in New York City at the time.

Goetz got a year (of which he did 8 months) for criminal possession of a gun. But he was acquitted of attempted murder and assault.

The professor asked: “What do you think would have happened if Goetz had been Black and the people he shot had been White?” My instant reply was: “A Black man is never permitted to shoot a White person for any reason whatsoever.”

At the turn of the year, I decided I was going to be a “turn-the-other-cheek” kind of guy. What had fighting gotten me? Just stress and heartache.

Nietzsche’s “slave morality” is a value system born from the weak and oppressed, which inverts the values of the strong (“master morality”) to justify their own weakness as goodness.

Nietzsche saw Christianity as a system that turned people into slaves. He felt that it promoted weakness, pity, and hatred of life.

Nietzsche often experienced profound loneliness, physical pain, and sickness.

From AI: Friedrich Nietzsche died on August 25, 1900, at age 55 in Weimar, Germany, following a stroke and pneumonia. After a severe mental breakdown in 1889, he spent his final decade in a state of profound dementia and paralysis. While historically attributed to syphilis, modern theories suggest CADASIL syndrome or frontotemporal dementia.

So, on one hand, we have Christians turning us into slaves. On the other hand, we have a madman trying to convince us to live a life of torment and resistance.

What I can tell you is, I tried the slave mentality for a few months, and I never wanted to kill myself more. I fell into deep depression and sadness. I mean deep. (Don’t call me, Dean. I don’t want to talk to you about my personal life, and please stop reading my blog.)

The law school system was attacking me after I was accused of plagiarizing something. Once they found out I was the originator of the content, they then turned it on me and told me I overshared. It was classic victim-blaming. I’m still dealing with the fallout of that to this day.

I lost my mother-in-law to a home… something I swore to her I wouldn’t let happen. (For the record, I hate my mother-in-law for how she controlled my wife and me for decades. But that has nothing to do with it. A promise is a promise.)

A foster dog bit me, and they killed it.

I was just letting life roll over me. I was falling deeper and deeper into a pit of despair. I was being a good Christian.

FUCK THAT!

I can’t live like that. Literally, I think I’d rather be dead.

I’m a fighter. I don’t know why I’m that way. I don’t know why I’m so angry. But I am. That’s why I am in law school. I am there to learn to fight with legal weapons.

I am an activist. I stand up for the people who have always been beaten and tormented by a cruel system.

Yes Maggie. I was cool back then, and I’m still cool today.

I fight because I love the people of Earth, and they have been treated like complete and total dog shit by every system ever created.