Finding Humanity in Loss: Reflections on Community, Pain, and Resilience in the Houseless World

Being banned from Facebook is a little bit like losing my community. Yes. It’s toxic,. It’s frustrating. But it was also beautiful, supportive and inspirational.

But I am always thankful to lose things in that it helps me connect in a small way with others who have lost everything. The death of a child, the loss of a house, a shunning from all of society.

I am thankful for the pain. It lets me feel a little closer to your pain. Pain is the common denominator among all of us. We all suffer greatly.

Just the same. Bummer, man! I always loved getting a picture from my time with my houseless friends and sharing it with you. So, I thought I might start sharing a few here in a group.

Check out this beauty:

I’m learning how to grow marijuana plants. We are allowed to grow some in our houses now in Ohio. I’m having so much fun! I’m learning about trichomes. I use a jeweler’s loop to keep an eye on these super tiny little mushroom-looking things on the flowers. You want them milky with a touch of amber on some of them. I’m really close. Next up will be drying.

I don’t use cannabis myself. I’ve decided to take a sober spiritual journey for now. But I love sharing it with my houseless friends. Marijuana is more expensive than meth. Many people prefer marijuana over meth. But they can’t afford it. So I like to share it when I can. On Sundays at “church” we usually light a candle, light some incense, play some music and just hang out. It’s at 10:30am on Sundays in the back of 15 Broad Street in Akron. All people are welcome. Just be aware that it’s a lively bunch. We usually have a couple of pit bulls, and sometimes the conversations get heated. If you feel like you would be uncomfortable around a bunch of mentally ill houseless people I don’t encourage you to come. Listen to your instincts. It’s completely fine. The people that enjoy that environment know that they enjoy it. Just be yourself, always.


From left to right this is: Brock, Sage, ZigZag and Eddie. Thanks to you, we hire people to do all sorts of jobs around our center and around Akron. We are cleaning up an arson scene in this picture.

Two tents were burned down, likely by Aaron. I think he may have set a couch on fire earlier this year. No one saw him do either of these things. But he was the only one around in both circumstances.

Aaron is a beautiful soul. He’s kind, gentle and sweet. He’s also, at times, raving and angry. This is the spot where I camped a couple of weeks ago. Aaron was living right next to me. He would just start yelling violently in the middle of the night.

He is extremely mentally ill. And I feel like his mental illness is progressing. If he did, indeed, set these fires, it would start to make him a threat.

There really is nothing you can do until he seriously hurts someone. I have given up on trying to pink slip people (that’s where a person can be forced into 72 hours of mental health treatment). The people who are trained in this rarely can get the person to say the “right things” to get pink slipped. I’ve seen the interactions. They are pretty basic. Literally, it’s like, “are you a threat to yourself or others?”

“No.”

“Whelp, that’s all we can do.”

Here is a picture of the inside of Aaron’s tent before it was burned down:

He FILLED it with endless junk he hoarded. There was no room for him to live in it. This was the 5th tent I had given him. He did this to every tent and then they would collapse under the weight of all the stuff.

So, now I can’t give him a tent or even a couch. I am pretty sure he will just set it on fire. I’m not sure what I’m going to do for him this winter. He had 3 toes amputated last winter from frostbite because he had no shelter.


I had this “great” idea for a tent.

It consisted of 5 5-foot 3/4 inch PVC pipes, 2 3-way connectors and a roll of 12×24 foot painters plastic sheeting.

I asked Randy to give it a try. He’s always game for new ideas.

Apparently the top PVC pipe snapped. He said it was because of the cold. I didn’t see that coming.

This tent cost about the same as a 2 man tent from Wal-mart. I thought it would be cool because we could just replace individual parts that broke instead of replacing the entire thing. But it broke way too easily. I think I’ll just stick with Wal-mart tents for now.


Speaking of Randy, someone burned down his bike shed:

They were mad at him for some reason unknown to me. I think it was a lover’s quarrel.

Arson and fires are a huge part of the houseless community. For years, they have lived abandoned by society in the woods and on the street. They have lost all modern social customs. They truly have become wild… feral.

These are feral humans. Some people take offense at me saying that. But I don’t know how else to say it.

They steal everything from their neighbors. They set fire to houses and structures. They have almost zero impulse control. I love their raw humanness. I feel so at home with them. I too am pretty raw and wild. But, mostly thanks to my wife, I can keep my shit together.

I don’t set things on fire, I don’t just start yelling into the wind (I used to keep that just for Facebook). And I don’t randomly take things that aren’t mine.

But all those feelings are just below the surface. I can feel my raw human instincts wanting to bubble up. Us refined people call them “intrusive thoughts.” They are completely normal. But it’s better for everyone if you don’t act on them.

Houseless people act on their intrusive thoughts all the time.

This why the Republicans are right about this. We must get houseless people off of the streets and into structured camps away from businesses and traditional houses. Many of these people are too wild to be around those areas.

I love these people more than any other group of people on planet Earth. Their unfiltered existence is a big part of that love. But I will be the first to tell you: We have to get these people away from anything that can be stolen or burned down.

A shuttle bus that lets them go back into town will solve the problem of being on the outskirts of town. Those are the places where there is food and other resources. (Before you say it, let me beat you to the punch: the drug dealers will find them. They are very industrious. Drugs find a way. They find a way into the jails, prisons, halfway houses, and sober houses.)

Florida has enacted a new law. They must get homeless people off all the streets by October 1 of this year. Otherwise, anyone can file a civil lawsuit against the city. Florida will be the first state the country to test this model. I’m very excited to see the outcome.


Did I tell you someone stole my gas-powered bicycle:

You can get a gas engine kit for a bicycle for under $100. I had this one running. It was so much fun! I also had it sold to a person who had put it on layaway.

I had the bike in the back of my pickup truck. Someone stole it out of there and now it’s gone.

My feeling is that these bikes would be so desirable there would be almost no chance of being able to hold on to it.

So, that is what inspired Bad Dog Bikes. We are getting bicycles donated (if you have any I am always looking for full bikes and parts). We pay people, through your donations, to fix up the bikes. And then we put them out into the the community. (We spray paint them green and engrave Bad Dog on the bike.)

Anyone can use them for as long as they want. But if you see one you are welcome to take it and use it. You can’t steal it because it’s a community bike.

Interestingly, we got 2 bikes back with no wheels. For some reason the people didn’t want the bikes. They just wanted the wheels.

We found one of the bikes in the backyard of a house last week. We went to get it and the lady who lived there said that we were stealing her bicycle. We showed her that it was neon green and had Bad Dog engraved on it. That was that. We took the bike back to the shop to get it fixed up. So, I chalked that up to the program’s success working the way I envisioned.

We’ve put 10 bikes out so far. The goal is 500.

This is what they look like:

That’s Randy on the left. And the man on the right is Bobby. He comes every Friday at 10:30 am to work on these bikes. He’s amazing.

If you are able, we would love your donation. All our work only happens with your support.

Donate Here

Thank you so much for reading these stories.

Awareness is always the first step in any movement toward change.

Take care,

Sage