SHOULD SOME THINGS NOT BE SAID?

November 7, 2022
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We are having a pretty intense conversation in my family right now about topics that maybe are better left unsaid.

In this case I had mentioned that maybe my son and his cousin (a girl) should get together. Everyone was mortified. (I will admit that I do love a provocative conversation. A good shock to the conversation is always a good time in my book.)

But I mean, why not?

My son has declared he is not going to have any kids. Either is my niece. Both of them have been good friends since day one. And they don't seem to be having much luck with relationships of people with the opposite sex.

The next day I had to have a talking-to by my wife about how I need to stop saying things like that. It is mortifying to her and she's convinced our son is not going to bring friends around if I keep talking about these kinds of things.

The debate comes down to 2 ideologies:
My belief is that all things can and should be discussed. My wife's belief is that words have consequences.

I am very sexually open-minded. I'm furry-friendly, LGBTQIA-friendly, etc. I will support any imaginable (that I can think of right now) consenting sexual relationship that doesn't involve minors. (Where I get a little stodgy is this whole 18 cut-off. I believe 18 year old's are still kids. While I don't think it should be a law, I think morally, no one over the age of 30 should date someone under they age of 25 or 26 (the time scientists believe the human brain has fully formed.)

Strategically, I have friends and family that think that this open talk is dangerous for a person that is trying to get into politics. That talking openly and freely is political death. My belief is that people are tired of all the bullshit. One of the reasons people like Donald Trump is because he says what he feels without wondering what it will do to his poll numbers (I think that actually helps his poll numbers. That he has found that people would rather hear the truth, even if they don't like it, than some focus-group-tested sound bite.)

The reason I bring it up is because I'd love to hear your opinion on the matter. I don't really know that I am willing to bullshit you in order to win a seat in politics. I think I'd rather do something different with my life. I have gotten this far being true to myself. I'm willing to do a lot to be a representative of the people (which I'm learning is nearly non-existent in this so-called "Republic" we live in. (the only entities that appear to truly be consistently represented are corporations and special interests.)) But I don't think I'm willing to lie to you about who I really am in order to win.

My belief is that OF COURSE you shouldn't believe everything I believe. I don't even know how that could be possible unless I become some sort of cult leader that has brainwashed you. THE ONLY thing I'd like to convince you to believe is that I care about the people, ALL THE PEOPLE, more than anything else. If you believe that about me, then I don't really care what else you think of me.

I believe in 1A, 2A, Police Reform, Police Oversight, Personal Freedom (which is a really messy area of thought), And putting ALL THE PEOPLE FIRST.

I would find it very suspicious if I gave you an entire list of things I believe and you believed all of them. And that's another big point I'm trying to make: Just because someone believes something different than you does not make them your enemy. They just have a different point of view than you. That's all it means. As long as someone isn't physically hurting someone else, they are good in my book.

So what do you think? Should I stop talking so openly?

And on whether my son and his cousin should get together, based on the near vomit-inducing response, I think the answer should be no. I don't care who they get together with. Just as long as they are happy. I just thought I'd throw out the idea. (For the record, yes. I know that it is not wise to inbreed with cousins. Although, this has been something that has been done probably since the beginning of time, which is probably the most surprising part of this conversation being taboo. It's a thing a lot of humans do. Why wouldn't we talk about it?) The Amish are having a real problem with this from what I understand.)

ADDENDUM 1:

Famous cousins who married:

  • Albert Einstein (1879–1955), physicist, and his first cousin, Elsa Löwenthal née Einstein
  • Carlo Gambino (1902–1976), a mob boss, and his first cousin, Catherine Castellano
  • Charles Darwin and his first cousin, Emma Wedgwood.
  • Henry Nelson Coleridge (1798–1843) and his first cousin, Sara Coleridge
  • Buddha Gautama and first cousin Yaśodharā
  • Jesse James (1847–1882), American outlaw and guerilla, and his first cousin, Zerelda "Zee" Mimms
  • Abraham Maslow, father of humanistic psychology, and his first cousin, Bertha Goodman
  • Muhammad, Islamic prophet (c. 570 – 632) and his first cousin, Zaynab bint Jahsh
  • Edgar Allan Poe and his first cousin, Virginia Clemm (1822–1847)
  • Sergei Rachmaninoff, composer, and his first cousin, Natalia Satina
  • Igor Stravinsky, composer, and his first cousin, Katerina Nossenko
  • H. G. Wells (1866–1946), author, and his first cousin, Isabel Mary Wells (his first wife)
  • Jerry Lee Lewis married his second cousin, Myra Gale Brown. He was 23.
  • Rudy Giuliani - The former New York mayor married his second cousin once removed, Regina Peruggi.
  • Thomas Jefferson - The Founding Father was married to his third cousin Martha Wayles.
  • Franklin D. Roosevelt- The former U.S. president was married to his fifth cousin once removed, Anna Eleanor Roosevelt.
  • John Kerry - The former U.S. Secretary of State is distant cousins with his now ex-wife Julia Thorne.

ADDENDUM 2:

YOUR PERSONAL LIFE IS NOT MY BUSINESS.

I think that's why I support cousins hooking up.

I believe women should be able to get abortions.

I believe you should be able to take any drug you want.

I believe you should be able to sell your body for money.

I think you should be able to have sex with anyone that wants to have sex with you as long as they are over 18 (or my 25/26 theory mentioned above.)

I believe you should DO WHAT EVER THE HELL YOU WANT TO DO as long as it doesn't hurt someone else.

YOUR PERSONAL LIFE IS NOT ANY OF MY BUSINESS.

ADDENDUM 3:

I have had people who were very insistent on not divulging their information who have thanked me for supporting cousins who have married because they married their cousin. The general response from them is that you don't choose who you love.

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