I’ve always known this. However, what’s interesting to me is that it’s actually a condition. I think I have a disease. 🙂
Here are some traits of a people pleaser that I resonate with:
- Men who identified with their mothers often tend to think of others? needs first, and to neglect their own
- People pleasers? focus is mostly on others and away from themselves.
- You may have experienced a lot of responsibility for the emotional or physical well-being of a parent or sibling.
- You care for others.
- You may have trouble with authority figures.
- You overdo responsibilities.
- You feel guilty about much.
- I’m inviting trouble if I ask for something.
- I feel guilty if I don’t put others needs before mine.
- I give more than I get back.
- I don’t like to let others down.
- I always take care of my loved ones.
- I’m a good person because I put others first.
- I always volunteer for overtime.
- I set important things aside so that I can please others.
- I don’t need much or ask for much.v
- My happiness depends on others being happy.
- I don’t have time for myself because I’m so busy taking care of others.
- I always listen to people’s problems.
- I never seem to provide enough.
- I wouldn’t be such a good person if I didn’t give so much.
- It’s far better to give than to receive.
- I feel bad if I do what I want.
- I can’t ask to have my needs met.
I am apparently a “Sacrificing” people pleaser. I have practically all of those traits. Here’s the definition:
SACRIFICE: This cluster gives us a sense of giving up our own needs for the needs of others. We do this to avoid feeling selfish or creating pain for others. This can lead to our resentment.
Apparently, if I want to get better, I need to do these things:
- Take some classes in assertiveness.
- Learn to take credit for things you do.
- Bring your attention to your own preferences and needs and see how you can address them.
- Delegate responsibility at home and at work.
- Practice confrontation. Challenge others opinions.
- Step around people who are self-centered and hook up with those who have your interests at heart.
- Ask for help if you require it.
- Keep a list of areas in your life where you are overly pleasing or sacrificing.
These are the sites I used to get this information:
People Pleasing
Coping with Stress – ‘People Pleasing: Having Trouble Saying No?’